In a past post, we touched on The Five Losing Strategies.
As we reflect on how we can positively engage with our partners, I wanted to quickly review the strategies:
1) Shifting from Complaint to Request
2) Speaking Out with Love and Savvy
3) Respond with Generosity
4) Empowering Each Other
5) Cherishing
Terry has spoken about cherishing here, and it bears repeating that each one of these ideas carries tremendous wisdom. In that spirit, I'd like to lightly touch on the first point, shifting from complaint to request.
Terry writes:
The fact that most men freak out every time a woman tells him she has something to say about their relationship is a well-recognized phenomenon; such aversion is legendary. But has anyone ever taken the time to ask guys why they'd generally prefer a root canal? Well, I've heard all about it over the years, and let's just say most men don't expect this particular discussion to be either constructive or a whole lot of complaining.
Changing the focus from complaint to request completely changes the dynamic of the conversation; allows for honest self-expression, and carries a rich respect into the relationship.
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